|date:||Tue, May 19, 2015 at 4:31 PM|
Date: Tue, 22 Sep 2015 22:20:17 -0400
So, some kid builds a "clock" that looks like a bomb and brings it to school, gets an invite to the White House, and then there's this:
Think this would be headlines if a Republican was in office ? This needs to go viral!
Sent from my iPad
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, Dec 31, 2015 at 3:29 PM
Subject: Fwd: Netanyahu's Gift to the Palestinians
Date: Tue, Dec 29, 2015 at 6:47 AM
Subject: Netanyahu's Gift to the Palestinians
Now that's class...
Netanyahu received an item from the leader of HAMAS. During the recent cease-fire, the leader of the Palestinian terrorist organization Hamas, Khaled Mashal, sent a “gift”..(actually, it was a gesture of hate and contempt to the Prime Minister of Israel Benjamin Netanyahu), in an elaborate box with a note. After having the box checked for safety reasons, Prime Minister Netanyahu opened the box and saw that the content was cow dung. He opened the note, handwritten in Arabic by Mr. Mashal, which said, “For you and the proud people of the Zionist Entity.”Mr. Netanyahu, who is literate in Arabic, pondered the note and decided how best to reciprocate. He quickly did so by sending the Hamas leader an equally handsome package, also containing a personal note. Mr. Mashal and the other leaders of Hamas were very surprised to receive the parcel and opened it, very carefully, similarly suspecting that it might contain a bomb. But to their surprise, they saw that it contained a tiny computer chip. The chip was rechargeable with solar energy, had a 1.8 terabyte memory, and could output a 3D hologram display capable of functioning in any type of cellular phone, tablet or laptop. It was one of the world’s most advanced technologies, with a tiny label, stating this item was “Invented and produced in Israel.”Mr. Netanyahu’s note, personally handwritten in Arabic, Hebrew, French, and English, stated very courteously…“Every leader can only give the best his people can produce.”
|date:||Fri, Feb 19, 2016 at 10:39 PM|
|subject:||VIDEO: Obama is a "total PUSSY"!!!!|
This LT Colonel hits it out of the ballpark!!!!
|date:||Sat, Feb 20, 2016 at 1:23 AM|
|subject:||Fwd: NEW POLITICALLY CORRECT TERM :-)|
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, Oct 28, 2015 at 8:34 AM
Subject: Re: FW: Jesus on the Beach
What a great way to use a talent to evangelize without talking!
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, Oct 27, 2015 at 7:14 PM
Subject: Fwd: FW: Jesus on the Beach
Begin forwarded message:Subject: Fwd: Jesus on the BeachSubject: Fwd: Jesus on the Beach-ubject: Jesus on the BeachJesus on the Beach - This is Awesome!]
There are 3 pictures and then a message. Be sure to page down all the way.
Jesus on the Beach
Pictures below are from a beach in Maryland. Isn't the artwork awesome? Be sure to open up your screen all the way. The man creates new ones each day, as the ocean washes away his work every day.
This is Chuck Ritchey, Sr. I have watched this man work on the beach at Ocean City, MD. Each time I watch him I marvel at his talent and fortitude because it is true that his works get washed away with the tide and he does them again. He is certainly a witness for Jesus Christ as thousands of people, in the course of a day, view his work and watch as he crafts his treasures. May his message be viewed by many.
Date: Mon, Sep 21, 2015 at 12:14 PM
Subject: FW: This news report will make your day!
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, Feb 10, 2016 at 3:01 PM
Subject: Fw: congratulation
- It is obvious that these kids never watch Fox News !And I thought my genration was screwed up !:Perfect example of the liberal, uneducated, youth of America.
Ever wonder why is Bernie Sanders doing so well??????????CONGRATULATING NORTH KOREA---SCARY!Unbelievable! You have to watch this short video. By the way all of these people are likely to vote Democratic !... God save America! Sound up, click link, watch full screen, shudder, then pass it along...
|date:||Wed, Sep 2, 2015 at 11:51 AM|
|subject:||Fwd: FW: Fwd: Brain Transplant|
Subject: Fwd: Brain Transplant
In the hospital where a family member lay gravely ill, the relatives gathered in the waiting room. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber."I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain."The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, "How much will a brain cost?"The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain; $200 for a Republican's brain."The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to try not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?"The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans' brains a lot lower because they're used."SEND THIS TO A SMART Republican WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO OTHERS WHO YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT :-)"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian."Henry Ford
|date:||Wed, Sep 2, 2015 at 11:48 AM|
|subject:||Fwd: FW: Wasn't this us?|
Subject: Pharmaceutical Break Through
Date: Wed, 23 Sep 2015 17:53:26 -0500
|date:||Tue, Sep 1, 2015 at 10:27 PM|
|subject:||Hillary's new look will make you smile|
Hillary's new look will make you smile...
|date:||Sun, Aug 30, 2015 at 12:58 PM|
|subject:||Fwd: Clear Explanation|
Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were walking down the street when they came
to a homeless person. Trump gave the homeless person his business card and
told him to come to his office for a job. He then took $20 out of his pocket
and gave it to the homeless person.
Hillary was very impressed, so when they came to another homeless person,
she decided to help. She walked over to the homeless person and gave him
directions to the welfare office. She then reached into Trump's pocket and
got out $20. She kept $15 for her administrative fees and gave the homeless
Now, do you understand the difference between a Conservative
and a Liberal progressive.
|date:||Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 8:33 PM|
|date:||Tue, Dec 22, 2015 at 12:37 PM|
|subject:||Fwd: FW: Christmas at the Gas Station|
The old man sat behind the counter of his gas station on a cold
Eve. Business had been brisk with people gassing up their vehicles to
relatives. He hadn't been anywhere in years since his wife had passed
It was just another day to him. He didn't hate Christmas, just couldn't
a reason to celebrate. He was sitting there looking at the snow that had
been falling for the last hour, wondering why he was still around, when
door opened and a man who looked homeless stepped through.
Instead of throwing the man out, "Old George" as he was known by his
customers, told the man to come and sit by the heater and warm up.
"Thank you, that's very kind. I don't want to be a bother," said the
stranger. "It's pretty cold out there.....but maybe I should just go."
"Not without somethin' hot in your belly." George said.
He turned, opening a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger.
ain't much, but it's hot and tasty.
Stew.....made it myself. When you're done, there's coffee, and it's
Just at that moment he heard the "ding" of the driveway bell. "Excuse
right back," George said.
There in the driveway was an old '53 Chevy. Steam was rolling out of the
front. The driver was panicked.
"Meester, help!" said the driver. In halting English with a thick
accent, he continued. "Mi esposa....she have the baby. Mi car, she
George peered under the hood. There was so much steam that he couldn't
much of anything. His guess, though, was that the block had cracked
the cold. The car was as dead as a doornail.
"You ain't going nowhere in this thing," George said as he turned away.
"Por favor, meester -- Ayudame! You can help me?" Tears stood in his
The door of the office closed behind George as he stepped inside. He
the office wall, got the keys to his old truck, and went back outside.
walked around the building, opened the garage, started the truck and
it around to where the couple was waiting.
"Here, take my truck," he said. "She ain't the best thing to look at,
she runs real good. You can bring her back after the baby comes. I'll
what I can do about your car."
George helped put the woman in the truck, and watched as it sped off
He turned and walked back inside the gas station. "Glad I gave 'em the
truck; their tires were shot, too. Not safe." George thought he was
talking to the stranger, but the man had left. The Thermos was on the
empty, with a used coffee cup beside it.
"Well, at least he got something in his belly," George thought.
George went back outside to see if the old Chevy would start. It cranked
slowly, but finally caught. He pulled it into the garage where the
had been, thinking he'd tinker with it later on. When business dropped
around dinnertime, he discovered that the block hadn't cracked, it was
the bottom hose on the radiator. "Well, shoot, I can fix this," he said
himself. So he put a new one on.
"Those tires ain't gonna get 'em through the winter, though." The snow
treads on his wife's old Lincoln were the same size. They were like
he wasn't going to drive that car anyway. So, he put them on the
As he was working, he heard what sounded like gunshots.
He ran outside. Across the street next to a squad car, he found a
middle-aged policeman lying on the ground.
Blood was coming from his right shoulder. The officer was moaning,
"Please.....help....." His shoulder radio wasn't functioning.
Following the cop's instructions, George tried to raise someone via the
police car's communication system, only to find that a bullet had left
George remembered the training he had received in the Army as a medic.
knew the wound needed pressure to stop the bleeding. The uniform
company had been there that morning and had left a bag of clean shop
towels. He wadded up a bunch of them and used duct tape to bind the
"Hey, they say duct tape can fix anythin'," he said, trying to make the
policeman feel at ease.
Running back to the garage, he tried to call 911, only to find that his
phone had no dial tone. Now what? Blankets and something for pain,
George thought. All he had was the Arthritis-Strength Tylenol he used
for his back. He went back to find the officer sitting up.
"These oughta help with the hurtin'." He wrapped up the policeman and
handed him the pills along with a bottle of water.
"You hang in there, I'm gonna try to find somethin' to get you off this
cold street." A few minutes later, he returned with a large 4-way
dolly, and managed to haul the policeman over to the warmth of his shop.
"Thanks," said the officer. "You probably should have just left me
there. The guy that shot me is still in the area."
George sat down beside him, "I would never leave an injured man in the
and I sure wasn't gonna leave you." George pulled back the bandage to
for bleeding. "Looked worse than what it was, I think. Bullet passed
through ya. Seems to have missed the important stuff , though. I think
time yer gonna be right as rain."
George got up and poured a cup of coffee. "How ya take it?" he asked.
"None for me," said the officer.
"Oh, ya gotta try this! Best coffee in the city. Too bad I ain't got no
donuts to go with it." The officer laughed and winced at the same time.
George was about to head off to try to find a working phone when the
door of the shop flew open. In burst a young man with a gun.
"Give me all your cash! Do it....now!" the young man yelled. His hand
shaking, and George could tell that he wasn't a regular at this sort of
"That's the guy that shot me!" exclaimed the officer.
"Son, why are you doing this?" asked George, "You need to put that
away. Somebody else might get hurt."
The young man acted confused. "Shut up, old man, or I'll shoot you,
give me your cash!"
The cop was reaching for his service revolver. "Put that dang thing
George said to the cop, "we got one too many in here already."
He turned his attention to the young man. "Son, it's Christmas Eve. If
need money that bad, well then....here. It ain't much, only $150 bucks,
it's all I got. Just put that pea shooter away."
George pulled the pile of bills out of the cash register, and handed it
the young man, reaching for the barrel of the gun at the same time. The
young man released his grip on the gun, fell to his knees and began to
"I'm not very good at this am I? All I wanted was to get something for
wife and son," he went on. "I lost my job, and our rent is due. The
landlord said he was going to evict us if we didn't come up with at
part of the money we owe him. My car got repossessed last week. I've
already sold every last thing I own that's worth a plug nickel...."
George handed the gun to the cop. "Son, we all get in a bit of squeeze
and then. The road gets hard sometimes, but we make it through the best
He got the young man to his feet, and sat him down on a chair across
the cop. "Sometimes we do stupid things." George handed the boy a cup of
coffee. "Bein' stupid is one of the things that makes us human. Comin'
in here with a gun ain't the answer. Now sit there and get warm, and
we'll sort this thing
The young man had stopped crying. He looked over at the cop. "Sorry I
you," he said sheepishly. "I was so scared when you came up behind me
it just kinda went off. I'm sorry, officer....really."
"Shut up and drink your coffee " the cop said.
George could hear the sounds of sirens outside. A police car and an
ambulance skidded to a halt. Two cops threw open the door, guns drawn.
"Chuck! You ok?" one of the cops asked the wounded officer.
"Not bad for a guy who took a bullet. How'd you find me?"
"GPS locator in the car. Best thing since sliced bread. Somebody called
911, reporting shots fired over this way. When you didn't answer the
dispatcher, she put 2 and 2 together. Who did this?" the other cop
asked, looking suspiciously at the young man.
Chuck answered him, "I don't know. The guy ran off into the dark. Just
dropped his weapon and ran." He handed over the now wiped-clean pistol
his fellow patrolman. George and the young man exchanged puzzled looks.
"This guy work here?" the wounded cop asked, eyeing his shooter.
"Yep," George said after only a brief hesitation. "Just hired him
Boy lost his job last week."
The paramedics came in and loaded Chuck onto the stretcher. The young
leaned over the wounded cop before he was wheeled away, and whispered,
Chuck just said, "Merry Christmas, kid..... You, too, George! And
"Well, looks like you got one doozie of a break there. That oughta
solve some of your problems anyhow."
While the young man satwith his head in his hands, George went into the
room, and came out with a small box, which he handed to the boy. "Here
go, son.....something for the little woman. I don't think Martha would
She said it would come in handy some day."
The young man looked inside to see a good-sized diamond pendant. "I
take this," said the young man. "It's gotta mean something to you."
"You're right....and now it'll mean somethin' to you," replied George.
"I got my memories of Martha. That's all I need."
From under the counter, George pulled out another box holding a car and
tanker truck. They were toys that the oil company had left for him to
"Here's a present for that son of yours."
The young man began to cry again as he handed back the $150 that the
old man had handed him earlier.
"And what are you supposed to buy Christmas dinner with -- or pay that
You keep that, too," George said. "Now git on home to your family
git yerself into more hot water!"
The young man turned with tears streaming down his face. "I'll be here
in the morning for work, if you really meant that job offer."
"Sorry. That won't work. I'm closed on Christmas Day," George said.
"See ya the day after."
George watched the boy head off down the street. He turned to lock up
garage, thinking, "Whew, what a day! Nobody would believe it." When he
entered the shop, he was surprised to see that the homeless man had
"Hey! Where'd you come from? I thought you left?"
"Oh, I've been here all along. In fact, I've always been here," said
the stranger, to the old man's confusion. "You say you don't celebrate
Christmas. Why is that?"
"Well, after my wife passed away, I just couldn't see what the big
all about. Trimmin' a tree seemed like a waste of a good pine tree.
cookies like I used to with Martha just wasn't the same by myself, and
besides I was gettin' a little chubby."
The stranger put his hand on the garage owner's shoulder. "But you DO
celebrate the holiday, George. You gave me food and drink and warmed me
when I was cold and hungry. The woman with child will bear a son, and
he will become a great doctor.
The policeman you helped will go on to save 19 people from being killed
terrorists. The young man who tried to rob you will make you a rich man
not take any of the fortune for himself. That is the spirit of the
and you keep it as well as any man could."
George was taken aback by all this stranger had said. "And how do you
know all this?" asked the old man.
"Trust me, my friend, I have the inside track on this sort of thing. And
when your days are done, have no fear. You will be with Martha
stranger moved toward the door. "If you will excuse me, George......I
to go home now. There's a big celebration planned."
George watched as the old denim jacket and the torn jeans that the
was wearing faded into a white robe. The room was suddenly bathed in a
"You see, George...... it's my birthday. Merry Christmas!"
George fell to his knees and replied, "Happy Birthday, Lord!"
Isn't this story better than any greeting card?
Now clear the lump from your throat, blow your nose, and send this
a friend of yours or someone who may need a reminder as to WHY we
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS!
|date:||Thu, Jan 28, 2016 at 4:39 PM|
|subject:||Fw: Natural Born Citizens (too funny to be true?)|
Subject: Natural Born Citizens
Purdue University: Natural Born CitizensThose of you who worry about Democrats versus Republicans -- relax, here is our real problem.In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair it was of the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"We need more help than we thought we did!