Fwd: FW: Fw: Totally politically incorrect!!!!!!

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date:Fri, Jan 9, 2015 at 1:49 PM
subject:Fwd: FW: Fw: Totally politically incorrect!!!!!!



   British humour- ABSOLUTELY POLITICALLY INCORRECT AND HILARIOUS
 
 
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque.. 
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
 
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During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
 
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
 
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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
 
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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
 
How could anyone stoop so low.
 
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I was walking down the road when I saw an Iranian bloke standing on a fifth floor
 
balcony shaking a carpet.
 
I shouted up to him, "what's up Abdul, won't it start?"
 
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A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates..
 

He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
 
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
 

"Are you Mohammed?" he asks.
 

"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a ladder that
 
rises into the clouds.
 

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
 

He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
 

"No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."
 

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
 

Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
 

"No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."
 

Mohammed higher than Jesus!
 

The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.
 
Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
 

"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his
 
climbing.
 

"No my son.....I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?"
 

"Yes, please, my Lord."
 

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
 

"Hey Mohammed, two coffees !!!!"
 


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

*Yawn*

Sad to think that of all the great comedy Britain has given us, there are people in this country who think that this tripe is something worth sharing.

gruaud said...

I'll amplify anon's comment and recommend 'The Thick of It' as one of the better political comedies. Peter Capaldi is just incredible.

Also the companion film, 'In the Loop'.

Both are excellent and worth seeking out.

Anonymous said...

I liked the last joke: "Hey Mohammed, two coffees!!!!!"

bwahahahah woooooo-hoooooo

Good "Juan"!

Mike Hawk said...

I wholeheartedly agree with gruaud.

Wasn't one of these flicks made into a TV series in the UK?

Anonymous said...

"The Thick of It" is a TV series.

"In the Loop" was a movie spinoff of the TV series.

Their creator, Armando Iannucci, later created "Veep".

Anonymous said...

'The Thick of It' is 'Yes Minister' on steroids.

 
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