Harlequin Novel, Obama Version 2011
He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow
and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we
were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low,
reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong,
calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along
my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.
I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care.
His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my
thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was
I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.
And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled
Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought
his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly
trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking
charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would
tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . .
"Okay ma'am, you can board your flight now."
our moderator is on an emergency trip to Sweden.
5/28/2011 03:04:00 AM | | 5 Comments
Subject: FW: Osama Jokes
Subject: Osama Jokes
"The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they've granted President Obama full citizenship." –David Letterman
"Last night the Dalai Lama implied that the killing of Osama bin Laden was justified. I think his exact quote was, "I love all living things, but that guy was a dick." -Conan O'Brien
"Osama bin Laden is in the ocean. How ironic. Once again surrounded by seals." –Jay Leno
"Osama bin Laden had money and telephone numbers sewn into his clothes. Apparently we got him just as he was on his way to summer camp." -Jay Leno
"After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'" –Craig Ferguson
"How about those Navy Seals. We're getting our money's worth there. They broke into Osama bin Laden's compound with 12-foot walls topped by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head." –David Letterman
"Elisabeth Hasselbeck of 'The View' is writing a children's book about Osama bin Laden's death. She wants to write a book to explain the whole thing to children. No title yet, but I have some suggestions: 'The Cat in the Fatwa,' 'Horton hears a Helicopter,' 'Goodnight, Douche'" –Craig Ferguson
"Apparently, members of Al Qaeda are online slamming the U.S. I don't understand why they're so upset. Everyone in Al Qaeda just got a promotion." –Craig Ferguson
"There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans." –David Letterman
"The hot new drink around the country is the bin Laden. It's a Colt 45 and a shot that goes right to your head." –Jay Leno
"Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, 'the ultimate waterboarding.'" –Jay Leno
"The White House says they will release the Osama bin Laden death photo. Better yet, they’re doing it on a set of limited edition commemorative plates." –Conan O'Brien
"What?! Not only did we kill Bin Laden, we killed him in Abottabad! Abottabad sounds like name most New Yorkers would have invented for the fictional place they would have loved to kill Bin Laden." –Jon Stewart
"He was living a half a mile from Pakistan's version of West Point in a town surrounded by retired ex-military officers. Let me put it in New York City terms. Bin Laden was on 21st and Seventh Avenue; they were on 21st and Ninth Avenue. If the Pakistani military academy were Domino's, they would have been delivered to bin Laden on foot." –Jon Stewart
"Osama bin Laden, as we speak, is living with Spongebob in a pineapple under the sea." –Jimmy Kimmel
"He's up to 2,000 friends on Shot In The Facebook." –Jimmy Kimmel
“By the way, 'buried at sea'? means 'dumped in the ocean.' That’s what they did with him. They dumped him in the ocean. Now I won't feel so guilty about peeing in the water anymore when I go to the beach."? –Jimmy Kimmel
"And so, Osama Bin Laden got his first bath in almost ten years. This could the best shark week ever." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Finding bin Laden was like finding a needle in a country that swore it didn’t have needles." –Stephen Colbert
"Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved." –Jay Leno
"Osama bin Laden is dead, which means the No. 1 threat to America is now the KFC Double Down." –Conan O'Brien
"Bin Laden was living in a house with no Internet access, which explains why there were all those bin Laden sightings at the Islamabad Kinko's." –Conan O'Brien
"Looking for Bin Laden was like a 10-year game of Where’s Waldo. Only better because when you finally find Waldo you get to storm his compound and put a cap in his ass." –Craig Ferguson
"Bin Laden lived in this compound in Pakistan with all of his wives for 6 years. So he did suffer." –David Letterman
"I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a much brighter start to the week." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Jacob and Isabella are the most popular baby names in the U.S. The least popular baby name: Donald Sheen bin Laden." –Jimmy Fallon
I don't know if the following is true, but it has been reported that Obama hesitated to give the go-ahead for the eventual rescue of the Captain from the Somali pirates last year also.
We need a Republican Senate
Let's work hard for the Nov. elections
classified Bin Laden photo...