Fw: Splinters - short - very funny


----- short - very funny




Subject: Splinters - short - very funn

--- Date: Saturday, December 18, 2010, 8:08 AM

Splinters in her crotch

A woman from Los Angeles , CA who was a tree hugger, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA .  There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.  In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in the area of her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.  The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"   He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of  Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.  I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care, they turned me down

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow its like if we put a word salad from bunch of buzzwords together they make a "joke".

Not a funny joke. Or a tasteful one. Or one that makes much sense. But still, a "joke".

Anonymous said...

Due to "Obamacare"... they forest service... did something? What the fuck?

The only way "Obamacare" would affect this situation is ensure that this woman had medical insurance which would cover her trip to the hospital. Oh noes! The horrors of ensuring that people are insured!!!

Anonymous said...

A Tea Partier bought some overpriced land in Virginia on which to store his ammo for the revolution and hide from the IRS. One day, while chopping down a tree to get back at his liberal co-worker for driving a hybrid, his hand slipped, and he chopped his own leg off.

He was rushed to the hospital, where the doctor left him waiting for three hours.

When the doctor finally returned, the man asked, "What took you so long?" The doctor replied, "The emergency room is overloaded because people with insurance have no other place to go, medical care based on need is a liberal lie, your insurer thinks you need a CAT scan before we can prove your leg is detached, and thanks to the housing bubble collapse, you can't afford the $10,000 co-pay on this procedure, so we're sending you home."

Hilarious! I made a funny!

Anonymous said...

That was mind-numbingly dumb even by wingnut standards.

Is it just me, or has the quality of their crap been declining?

By "quality" I don't mean that any of it was ever actually true or funny, but it seemed like the "production values", so to speak, used to be a little better... It seems to me that the right-wing forwards used to make more jokes that were merely un-funny rather than utterly moronic, they used to rely more on misleading information and cherry-picked facts rather than stuff made up out of whole cloth, the lies and made-up stories they did use were less ludicrous, and the racism and sexism and such used to be a little more covert. But lately it's been like someone somewhere said "the hell with putting EFFORT into making well-formed or plausible crap - ANY old crap will do!"

Anyone else noticed that the stuff's gotten more vicious, more stupid, and more thoroughly ludicrous over the last few years?

gruaud said...

For those who wonder if the bar for RW forwards is set too low in terms of mendacity/stupidity:

There is no bar.

ferschitz said...

Like everything else in the USA these days, the Oligarchs are pushing down the wages of their rightwing propogandists in their rightwing "think" tanks. Hence, the propaganda has "declined" in "quality."

However, that doesn't matter because the reichwing has thoughtfully ensured that the USA educational system has been so dismantled & dumbed down that the sheeples who "love" this junk are equally dumbed down.

And so on...

Thx 4 Fish said...

I think the intellectual quality of RW messaging deteriorated rapidly after the debut of Sarah Palin. Why put so much effort into crafting a good message when it isn't necessary, when the audience doesn't want or need anything more complicated than patriotic sloganeering?

Anonymous said...

Another reason for the decline of RW messages. The more outrageous they are, the more press they get. And that, unfortunately, keeps everyone from thinking about the number one problem in this country--loss of jobs overseas and unemployment. Jobs that are not coming back. This is one thing that Ds and Rs could agree on. So of course it is the one thing we don't hear about. As long as we keep focusing on the stupid stuff then we will not find solutions.

 
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