A Texan is walking through a field, sees a Mexican drinking water from a
stock tank with one of his hands.
The Texan shouts to the Mexican,,,,,,,,' Hey don't drink that water,,,, It
has cow shit in it!!!!!!!!!!!
The Mexican shouts back 'Soy Mexicano, yo no entiendo inglés. Hábleme
Español.'. (I'm Mexican, I don't speak English. Speak Spanish to me)
The Texan shouts back,,,,,, 'Utilice ambas manos, usted conseguirá más para
beber.' (Use both hands, you'll get more to drink)
> > FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP FOR ME....
> > For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us
> > have naively thought this was connected with marriage or religion, but the
> > Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. has recently revealed the true story.
> > When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her
> > Wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won
> > a
> > taxi cab, a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, or a motel in
> > the United States.
> > If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephones
> > giving technical advice.
Tresy sent us this one. Reading it, I have to wonder if the girl at Burger King was really brought to tears by the sight of a crotchety, condescending, lonely right-winger barking at her.
Said Tresy, "Don't know if you have this one yet or not. Har dee fucking har har."
Begin forwarded message:
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.
Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
1. Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of productio n is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
2. Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares no thing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers )
6. Teaching Math In 2006
Un hachero vende una carretada de madera por $100. El costo de la pr oducciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
I grew tired of the dark background. Hope you like the ease-of-reading this white template provides. What was that? You don't like the new changes? Listen you spoiled brat, I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS! until you shut up and be quiet you whiny liberal sheep!
Heh heh..but really, what do you think? Any suggestions?
Thanks for your contributions and comments to the archive. I didn't think anyone would find right-wing'ed forwards this interesting. Hopefully this new lay-out will simplify our exploration into this mystifying world of the right.
9/19/2007 11:34:00 PM | | 0 Comments
Thanks Adam. A pee test for welfare checks? Huh.
"My idiot friend sent this to me. (sigh)
----Begin Forwarded Message----
Subject: PEE TEST
Like a lot of folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me.
I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see
fit. In order to get that paycheck.. I am required to pass a
random urine test, which I have no problem with.
What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people
who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine
test to get a welfare check, because I have to pass one to earn
it for them?
Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on
their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping
someone sit on their ass.
Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to
pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?
Do you remember when Puerto Rico was raising heck about the US Navy using that nothing little island just off the coast of Puerto Rico for bombing practices, which they had used for the past 75 years?
Demonstrations were held, Hollywood left wingers, Al Sharpton, and his fellow demagogues went down there to demonstrate to get the Navy out?
I am sure it infuriated you just as it did me at the time. Well, here is our revenge.
Always be careful what you ask for, you just may get it!
One of the many headaches that the U. S. has had was the Puerto Rican Island of Vieques. In the waning years of the Clinton Administration protesters demanded that the US Navy abandon bombing and naval gunfire exercises that had taken place on the largely uninhabited island for nearly seventy years.
Liberal icons bumped into one another to fly to Puerto Rico, boat over to the island, trespass (but never on a day that there was an exercise scheduled) and get arrested for the benefit of the New York Times or Newsweek. They included the Reverend Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Joan Baez, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Edward Olmos, Michael Moore and Ramsey Clark, just to name a few.
In 2002, the bombing exercises were transferred to an Air Force bombing range in central Florida, not far from the Jacksonville and Pensacola Naval Air Stations. In January, many of the protesters were back in Puerto Rico, celebrating the final bombing exercise on Vieques and waved Puerto Rican flags and placards that read "U. S. Navy, get out of Puerto Rico."
The following February, Rumsfeld announced that the U. S. Navy will close the Roosevelt Roads Naval Air Station in Puerto Rico in 2004, eliminating 1200 civilian jobs as well as 700 military positions. This naval facility is estimated to have put nearly $300 million annually into the local economy.
The next day a stunned Governor Sila Calderon held a news conference in San Juan, protesting the base closure as a serious blow to the Commonwealth's fragile economy. The governor stated that "The people of Puerto Rico don't now or never did have an interest in closing the Vieques bombing range or the Roosevelt Roads naval base. We are interested in both staying in Puerto Rico"
When asked, the Commander-in Chief, Western Atlantic Command, said, "Without Vieques, I see no further need for the facility at Roosevelt Roads. None."
So, Yankee go home? Fine. But we'll take our dollars with us. Hasta la vista, baby!
On February 21, the Secretary of Defense also announced that starting this year, the U. S. European Command would begin moving most, if not all, of its active combat and support units from bases in Germany to others being established in Poland, The Czech Republic, Hungary and Turkey to "better position them for rapid deployment to likely hot spots in those parts of the world."
Immediately the business and government leaders in the German states of Hesse, Rhineland and Wurttemburg, protested the loss of nearly $6 billion US revenue each year from the bases and manpower to be displaced. A spokesman for the Foreign Ministry speculated that the move may be "what the Americans call 'payback' for the actions of this government in opposing Military action in Iraq ".
"Does anyone know the German translation for: "Hasta la vista, baby?" I think "Aufwiedersehen, l! inesmen" is a good translation.
Oh, isn't it nice to see a government with guts and a good memory.
Also, here are some statistics and conclusions about a different subject. If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, (when this was written) that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.
The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period.
That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U. S. Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq .
The U. S. should pull out of Washington!!!!
PASS THIS ON and ON 'cuz CNN won't!
---Begin Forwarded Message--
Budweiser commercial aired ONCE!
Here is a commercial Budweiser produced after 9/11.
They only aired it once so as not to benefit financially from it..
they just wanted to acknowledge the tragic event.
This is so consistent with a company thatalways does things with a ton of class!!
Let me make this perfectly clear!
THIS IS MY COUNTRY!
And, because I make this statement
DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration!!!
YOU ARE WELCOME HERE IN MY COUNTRY.
Welcome to come through like everyone else has.
Get a sponsor!
Get a place to lay your head!
Get a job!
Live by OUR rules!
Pay YOUR taxes!
LEARN THE LANGUAGE LIKE ALL OTHER
IMMIGRANTS HAVE IN THE PAST!!!
AND PLEASE DON'T DEMAND THAT WE HAND OVER OUR
LIFETIME SAVINGS OF SOCIAL SECURITY FUNDS TO YOU
TO MAKE UP FOR ''YOUR'' LOSSES.
If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone,
then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
When will AMERICAN'S STOP giving away THEIR RIGHTS???
We've gone so far the other way ... bent over backwards not to
offend anyone. But it seems no one cares about the AMERICAN
that's being offended!
If you agree ... pass this on.
if you don't agree ... delete it!!!
If the immigrant is over 65 they can apply for SSI and Medicaid and get more than my mom gets for Social Security, and she worked from 1944 till 2004, only getting $791 per month
because she was born in 1924 and there is a "catch 22".
It is interesting that the federal government provides a single refugee with a monthly allowance of $1, 890.00 and each can
also obtain an additional $580.00 in social assistance for a
total of $2,470.00/month.
This compares very well to a single pensioner who after contributing to the growth and development of America
for 40 to 50 years can only receive a monthly maximum of
$1,012.00 in old age pension and Guaranteed Income
Maybe our pensioners should apply as refugees!
Consider sending this to all your American friends, so we can
all be ticked off and maybe get the refugees cut back to
$1,012.00 and the pensioners up to $2,470.00 and enjoy
some of the money we were forced to submit to the Government
over the last 40 or 50 or 60 years.
Please forward to every American to expose what our elected politicians have been doing over the past 11 years - to the over-taxed American.
SEND THIS TO EVERY AMERICAN TAXPAYER YOU KNOW
Right-Wing Emails Examined by The Nation Magazine!
I received this email from a contributing writer for The Nation magazine. I agreed to the interview and we spoke yesterday over the phone. It turns out he is also trying to figure out where these right-wing emails originate and his search needs our help. If you are receiving right-wing emails and would like to talk about it with Christopher, email him at: christopherlhayes [at] gmail.com .
"Hey there. My name's Christopher Hayes and I'm a contributing writer at the Nation magazine. It just so happens I'm working on an article about right-wing email forwards and happened upon your blog. I'm wondering if perhaps you have time to talk. I'd be interested in discussing the blog and seeing if I can perhaps email some of the people who forwarded you stuff.
9/11/2007 12:10:00 PM | | 0 Comments
Have you heard about the trucker who has painted his cab and trailer with the names of all those who lost their lives in 9/11 ? The trucker's name is John Holmgren from Shafer, Minn. He has been "pulled over" numerous times just so the troopers can get their picture taken with the truck.
(scroll down to see the pictures)
KEEP THIS GOING SO ALL CAN SEE
Oh, Jay, thanks for the link. Why do our dads hate Hillary so much?
"My friend Megan is the lucky recipient of right wing forwards from her father who lives out in the country now. She thought you might need this one for the site which her dad sent over the weekend...
Andy Rooney is at it again! This arrived from my dear cousin off the bucolic coast of Oregon. I'm afraid to ask if it is a joke or not. My favorite line is the "Sit down and shut up!" closer.